For many of us, our first experience with self-care and beauty is through our closest relationships – be it family or friendship. For example, DeVard Ozaydinli tells me about how seeing her mother’s rituals informed her, especially now that she is a mother. “I had very few images of black women indulging in beauty [portrayed in the media] Growing up, that’s why my mother took care of herself was so important, ”she says. “I can remember it so crystal clear: Putting on the lipstick, the scent and the arrangement of the clothes. This was the ritual of preparation. Even when I was very young, I realized that this was her process. “
But our sense of beauty and our relationship are also symbiotic. We don’t just learn how to take care of ourselves through others – we also learn how to look after ourselves. Whether we realize it or not, our relationships and the quality of those interactions affect our sense of self. “One thing I always ask my guests is, ‘When do you feel most beautiful?’ And so many people say, “When the person I love sees me.” I think it’s so amazing to hear because there’s something in that person’s love that is passed on to you and makes you feel beautiful and good for yourself, ”she says.
Research also shows this. In 2019, the American Psychological Association published a meta-analysis of two decades of research, finding that positive social relationships and social support helped shape self-esteem. They also found that when people have low self-esteem, it negatively affects their relationships. It is clear that relationships and a good sense of self go hand in hand.
This is an important reminder to think about the impact we have on the people in our lives: Caring for the people around you and caring for yourself can be two sides of the same coin. Throughout the episode, we talk about this and more: He is filled with his own experiences, anecdotes about relationships and – of course – recommendations for stellar beauty. If you’ve been longing for community lately, get involved.