Psychologist Laura E. Kurtz conducted a study on the laugh-love connection by coding the spontaneously generated laughs of 71 romantic couples who were video recorded as they talked about how they first met. Kurtz’s data proved how potent shared laughter is for a relationship. Her results showed that couples who share more moments of laughter were more likely to perceive a greater feeling of closeness, sense of safety in their partner’s hands, and overall satisfaction in the relationship. They were also more likely to feel more passion in the relationship, that giddy in-love feeling.
Don’t worry—no partner needs to be a comedian. We don’t even need to come up with something new. What matters is the humor that couples create together along the everyday path of life. The truth is, most of what people laugh about are jokes and anecdotes parodying what we do every day. Being a human being offers plenty of room for the silly and quirky, the awkward and absurd—especially when we stop taking ourselves so seriously and let ourselves have fun. When we laugh, it’s contagious, and we become a most likable partner—like that friend you want to be around all the time.
While shared laughter between partners can be a sign of an already existing intimacy and connection, what many couples underappreciate is our capacity to actually awaken and grow a sense of humor together even when this has not been a strong suit in the relationship. Awareness is the first step in any change, so the mere understanding of the importance of shared laughter can become an invitation to joke around more, the permission we need to allow ourselves to have more fun. Those who don’t naturally approach life with their funny bone may find it more challenging to inject laughter into the relationship, but there are some simple ways to add more laughter and fun into your day-to-day life: